Thursday, January 10, 2013

I knew you were trouble.

Today's inspiration: T. Swift. Yes. Ladies you read that correctly.  I have a love hate relationship with Taylor.  When she first hit the scene, I was annoyed because I felt like she was stealing Carrie Underwood's thunder (I was a HUGE American Idol fan back then).  Then I heard ONE song...from the Fearless CD...White Horse.  Boom Shockalacka. I was hooked.  The song SPOKE to me like all country music does. But it was more. I felt like I was the one looking into the rearview mirror talking to myself as I drove away from a mistake I didn't see coming, telling myself that I deserved more, admitting that I wasn't a princess, recognizing that it was OK to dream...it was ME. So I got the CD and played it off the tracks, belted the songs like they were mine.

And then she sang live on some awards show and I was shocked at how bad she sounded. Now I am sure people have bad days, but I felt let down.  So then I gave up on her for a bit--especially during his Jonas Brothers Bieber obsessed phase. Enter Jake Gyllenhaal.
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He is beautiful, isn't he? So I was like...well if he likes her shouldn't I tolerate her songs? Yes, Jessi it is OK to listen when they come on the radio. (Yes, I have these conversations with myself).

Anyways, as time goes on I didn't just listen when she came on the radio. I learned the words. I jammed out as often as I could. I would have dance parties of one. I bought her music. Now T. Swift and I are besties as I am convinced that although 9 years separate us in age, she sees into the future and writes her songs for me. Oh you thought they were for you too? Ok, I will share.
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So I am guess some of you have picked up her newest album Red? If not, please do. It is fun. It is danceable. It is singable. She is fun-able (ha, made up a word). Once you do, please listen to I Knew You Were Trouble.  Boom Shockalacka it happened again.  This song describes the last 14 months that I lived in DC (prior to moving back to the OH).
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I have never talked about it on here but I was in a relationship that CRUSHED my world in the last year I lived there.  I am 100% over now (3 years later) but I would be lying if I didn't admit that it took me over a year to heal.  I was lied to repeatedly. I was fooled intentionally. I was mistreated (not abuse wise, just not the way a loving girlfriend should have been treated).  I was wanting to be happy so badly that I tried and tried to make it work.  I wanted so badly for him to return the love in my direction that I was so blind to the trouble he was causing me. It is a sad story that maybe I will share one day. But for now I will just let you know that a secret was kept from me for 10 months and it was a ground breaking secret that would have taken me out of the trouble from the start. So when Taylor says things like "Shame on me now" and "That you never loved me" and "And I realize the blame is on me" I swear she knows what I went through.

Isn't it crazy that a song can mean so much to individuals? I have to say I wish I would have heard this song many moons ago. We can wish it would have saved my heart break. But everyone says you learn from every experience and you grow...blah blah...I did grow, but unfortunately I grew to be afraid of love and very protective of ME. It may not be a bad thing in the long run.

So is Taylor your bestie too? What song is your fave? Are you still waiting for her to write a song for you? :)

Happy Thursday!

4 comments:

  1. Thanks for opening so much today- I'm so sorry to hear about the rough patch you've been through, but also happy to hear you've healed and you've grown :)

    I'm not a huge Taylor fan... I jam to some of her songs on the radio, but like you- her live performances and songs about the same few things over and over again turned me off to being a "real" fan. However- I knew you were trouble is WAY too fun to dance to in my car ;)

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  2. I LOVE White Horse. That's the same song that got me into liking Taylor Swift (after liking her and then not liking her). I also love a lot of the new stuff on her Red album. I wasn't sure I would, but there are definitely good songs on there!

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  3. White Horse is also one of my faves. I agree with you on her earlier live performances - they were horrid. She's gotten so much better now that she has experience and a little more age behind her. Personally I think the performances early in her career were nerves.

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  4. I love Taylor Swift! Although I think we all get a little dissappointed when we hear our favs live. I can't say which song is my fav because its been a while since I listened to her. I am going to have to fix that now.

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